How To Be A Fashion Blogger, #13: Be full of bull, which is not quite the same thing as oxblood.

Click here for the previous 12 installments of How To Be A Fashion Blogger.

pinned to Fashion, curated from Posh & Poised

Oxblood?  Bloggers, please.

And can we stop calling things “the new ______”?  Forty is not the new thirty. Pumpkin is not the new bacon. Strong is not the new skinny. Binders full of women is not the new Big Bird. And oxblood is not the new black, it’s the old burgundy.

Yes, it’s lovely, but it’s also Wine. Or, if you’re fancy, Bordeaux. Or, if you’re into Twilight, Vampire Orgasm. Or, if you’re a crayon, maybe it’s Maroon. Or, if you’re into food, it could be Deep Plum or Aubergine or Ripe Berry. If you’re into baubles, perhaps it is Ruby. Or if you’re into 50 Shades maybe it’s Bruised. Hell, if you’re into HTML it could even be #660000. So many options! So why are we calling it oxblood?

pinned to My Style, curated from City and Dale

Let’s conjure up a picture of oxblood, shall we? Well, first of all, we have to have an ox.

Here’s a little, baby musk ox.

pinned to CUTE! OMGZ, curated from/photographed by Randy Kokesch

Now let’s cut the bitch.

I know, I know, so inappropriate, but how else are you going to get its blood?

pinned to Deseo de la Moda, curated from rey

Now we have a wounded, suffering, bleeding animal (yes, I do eat meat, thank you, shut up) and it’s such a lovely color, isn’t it, sort of looks like burgundy, but let’s call it oxblood and market every burgundy thing we can find under that name this season because it’s so original and riche and chic and on-trend!

pinned to Fashion and such, curated from Refinery 29

Doesn’t the name oxblood conjure up visions of luxury for you? Ah, yes, it really represents the image of myself I want to present to the world:  pain, suffering, Carrie at the prom. Ok, that was pig’s blood, but it could have been ox.

pinned to WEAR, curated from Polyvore

Speaking of blood – which we were, because no way are you going to have a color named oxblood and then act like it’s so exquisite and gorgeous and not remotely think about slaughterhouses and dead animals (unless you have no soul) – when I was in Turkey and learning to brew their delicious chai, I was told to steep it until it was the color of sheep’s blood.

I’d, thankfully, never seen a bleeding sheep, but I immediately knew what color I was to aim for…a deep, rich burgundy.

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8 Responses to How To Be A Fashion Blogger, #13: Be full of bull, which is not quite the same thing as oxblood.

  1. Just call it ‘blood’. Maybe we have to open up an Ox and many other animals to confirm, but I’m pretty sure blood looks damn similar coming from any mammal.

    I will call this burgundy, or maybe wine, sometimes maroon, but never ‘Oxblood’ cause I think that term is incredibly obnoxious/pretentious/overdone.

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  3. KazaD says:

    Oxblood as a colour should only ever be mentioned in the same breath as a nice leather briefcase, or similar, and shoes. Not for clothing. Not ever.

  4. Amy says:

    Seeing this colour everywhere reminds me of a delightful moment in Kinky Boots:

    (If you haven’t seen it, it’s delightful.)

    Also – if you have tips and hints on how to make a very delicious chai, I’m sure a bunch of us would be quite interested!

  5. Korkys says:

    Oxblood is a very well known name for this colour, well, in Europe anyway…The biggest term coming from “OxDoc’s” meaning the Dr. Martin boots that were HUGE in the 80’s ( now making a comeback) but they came in this said burgundy colour, which we called ‘OxDoc’s’ And I LOVED mine!!

    • wtfpinterest says:

      I had those oxblood Docs…which I loved wearing with my torn black fishnets, so yes, I am aware oxblood isn’t a new name for this color. I still think it’s gross 🙂

  6. Rebekah says:

    I mean, yeah, it’s cheesy, and gross, and overdone, but it’s not a blogger thing. It’s a Pantone thing. But yes, we bloggers do like to jump on a bandwagon, so I’ll give you that. I admit to calling my orange clothing “tangerine tango” when that was the hot color last season. At least that color name wasn’t disturbing and sad. (I eat meat, too.)

    • wtfpinterest says:

      I will say it again because I haven’t in a while, but I love me some fashion and beauty bloggers, despite the fact they often crack me the f*ck up. And I’m totally guilty of many of the “sins” I poke fun at.

      Except this one.

      I don’t wear oxblood.

      I drink it.

      Just kidding 😉

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